Gloomy Days

I walk this path
So dark and gloomy
what once was fear
no longer brings tears
Scared I once was
Unsure of what’s ahead
Will this be the end?

Once a timid boy
scared of the dark
unsure how it’ll end
knowing one day it’ll all stop
the rain has started
with fear descending from the sky
it’s ok though for this is my high

No longer a boy
walking this path alone
the darkness has seeped in to my bones
For I have became what I once feared
A heart so cold emerging the demon inside
That little boy has died, but a grave isn’t needed
For I have shredded the skin that has now conceded

Injustice

You’re in my sight
and no longer am I afraid
to confront the injustice you have done
upon me, my family, and friends

A true bastard you are
leaving a permanent scar
upon my very existence
never to leave and always to witness

I’m ashamed to be given this mark
But it’s never been my fault
That the God’s have decided to say
Leave me in pain and find my own way

I wander alone
Wondering the purpose of this all
If there’s even a purpose at all
That is…..

The demonic creature lurking around
Are of my own possession
While they take away all of my attention
Towards the light of full life

I can’t enjoy a second
Without thinking about
Pulling the Trigger
Hopefully leading to heaven

I know my time is closing near
Since I was born there was no fear
Of the day that’ll eventually come
The one that comes visit us all

I’m Not Bold

I’m not bold
A hypocrite at most
let’s give a toast
to the host of the show
It’s me but not me
Can’t you see ?

I apologize and I’m sorry
but i’m not so don’t worry
For all that’s worth knowing
Is if my life will be worth knowing

Losing your soul is it worth the wait?
Reeking havoc within your inner hate
Willing to do whatever it is
worth willing to do

Isn’t that sane though?
Willing to do the insane
for money, fortune, and fame
All with a price tag to pay
Does my shadow follow me?
Or do I follow it?

Who am I to know…
The darkness creeps in
seeping when it pleases
toying with me, as if there’s no reason

Why I commit treason
against my soul
with nothing to show

For I will not be amazed
or ashamed
to the answer thereafter
If there’ll be another chapter

My Fuel

You fuel me so much
I thank you for that
But you’re also the pedal
Draining me out.

It doesn’t matter what it’s about
The darkness just comes and goes
Speeding at times
but then going slow

I can’t move without it though
My engine that drives me
the curse that lays inside
taunting at me until the day I die

It’s an awful high
Making you cry
Breaking you down
Running you to the ground

Rushing the trenches
You have no chances
Surrender and Give Up
So you can start and not let up

No Matter The Circumstance

It’s sad that a man
Can hide his emotions
without shedding a tear
acting like there’s no fear

The years of boyhood
Are gone
Invisible to the eyes
Within the blink of an eye

Everything changes
And nothing is the same
life is a new mirror
and we’re the one’s who choose

How to live stay alive
Is nothing to see and cry
For in the end we all die
But shouldn’t we say
We gave it a try

Death is guaranteed
And that’s a certificate
That is always legitimate
No matter how definitive

We select and choose
The life we must live
but we can not decide
The emotion of man

No matter the occasion
No matter the circumstance
A man should always feel free
And able and to cry

In grief
After hiding all
that was underneath
I feel guilty

For not trying to feel
Anything…….

There’s Always A Way Out

There’s always a way out
Leaving Everything behind
To forget the present
Due to such a dark past
When the sun finally shines
Enjoy it while you can
Hoping this moment
Could last an eternity
But the dark clouds ahead
Are always in sight
There’s no reason to fight
For it’s better to embrace
The minds
Unusual and unsatisfying tastes sour
For no man is truly one man
Shadows follow us
Like a dark passenger
Waiting for its thrill
Ready for its chance
To get behind the wheel
For life isn’t even keeled
No matter how many times
You get on your knees
Asking the lord to heal
For your bones will never feel

What I’ve Become

What have I become
A lurking shadow in the dark
Walking slowly towards my pain
Realizing there may be nothing to gain

In the light you don’t have a clue
Wearing a mask you can’t see
What’s truly lays beneath
The monster you’ve never seen

Was this meant to be
Embedded in my soul
Feeling the coldness
Brought within me
Controlling every breath I breathe

Your at the wheel sometimes
speeding down a hill
an urge so strong you could kill
Bringing nothing but a chill

Slithering down my spine
bound together through time
the fight no longer goes on
postponed till the end of my time

I know for a fact
you will always stay intact
There’s never been a second
You’ve left me and I pretended

That you’ve never been here
apart of me and apart of you
you made me hollow inside
while I give you life

A gift in the most unpleasant way
I can’t keep you at bay
Because sadly I must say
I can’t live without you so sadly I must pay

Destiny

Shall our destinies define us “Destiny”
or shall we define our destiny
The value of human life
is one of value or waste?

The Gun you consider
yet the bullet you’re afraid of
What if it goes wrong
What if you suffer

Was life that bad to end it?
In your mind acting as the defendant
you feel guilty by the jury
As your mind rushes and hurries

Thinking of the worst
results in a hearse
for now you have burst
into the abyss…

The past comes to haunt
Coming to haunt
You feel ashamed
Yet who’s to blame?

Even as a child the old soul got older
Unlike most others
The taste of life has been swallowed
Dissolved by the essence of life itself

We feel it…..
The shadow deemed beyond us
Made from nothing but the pure being of yourself
A reflection
With different perspectives.

What’s right and what’s wrong
Is up to you
For there are no true moral standards
Just remember

Once the trigger is at a squeeze…
that razor across the wrist
the rope you’re ahead
the decision is final

Physically or spiritually you just committed suicide
From the toxic highs of what feels like the lows in life
No clock can be fixed
No hour may reverse

Life will go on without you
That reality…
So pick your poison
Can you suffer a little longer
or must you be a goner

Last Breath

I can’t tell you

the last time I’ve slept

I’ve been wandering around

Wandering to find the answer

The answer to eternal peace

My head can’t stop spinning

I’m surrounded by the darkness

Yet I can still imagine the vision

The vision of seeing the light

Feeling my soul lift up

Becoming weightless and suspended

Then I fall…..

Crashing down upon my broken wings

No longer do I want to stand up

For inside I am shattered

Like broken pieces of glass

I’ve never been one to go to Mass

Or look up to the sky in hope

For a better afterlife.

I don’t belong in heaven

If there’s even such a thing

After my life

Please let me proceed

To sleep for all of eternity

For I am exhausted

But I cannot proceed to stop

I want to leave behind…

My blood,sweat, and tears

Chasing away all the fears

That walk amongst us

Just like the shadows

I feel nothing but hollowness

Yet I feel so much to burden

Let me complete my mission

May my last breath of air

Be one of comfort and satisfaction

Knowing that I can finally rest

For one life is enough for me